


The Bi-chelor

by ksas, TaylorSmith63



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: Bachelor AU, F/M, M/M, crackfic, knife shoe appreciation society, some cussing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-24 17:50:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15635703
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ksas/pseuds/ksas, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaylorSmith63/pseuds/TaylorSmith63
Summary: When Yuzuru Hanyu is chosen as the next Bachelor on the Bi-chelor, he thinks he's in for fun. What he finds, however, is drama, friendship and adventure. With the help of the host Daisuke Takahashi, he embarks on a two and a half month journey that might just lead him to love.





	1. The Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> Written with the help of the Knife Shoe Appreciation Society! Come join our discord! https://discord.gg/9T7kw7J

“I’m not here to make friends, I’m here to win” Javier Fernandez stated proudly in his introduction, “I’ve been in relationships before but I haven’t been able to find the one. There’s no second guessing, Yuzuru Hanyu is  _ mine _ .” 

“I like meat, I guess,” Shoma shrugs, unsure of what to say. He wasn’t used to being in front of cameras, was feeling crushed under the attention, “I’m a college student, a former figure skater, I don’t know if I’ll meet the great love of my life here, but I hope I meet some good friends.” 

“My friends call me the Tiny Queen, but my heart is anything but tiny,” Satoko giggled, knowing that she would appear charming and sweet to the viewers, “I just want to find love, honestly, isn’t that why we’re all here?” 

“I don’t really know why I’m here,” Boyang smiled, keeping his introduction blunt but humorous, “I did this on a whim thinking I wouldn’t be accepted, but here I am! There’s not much to know about me, I guess I’m kind of a nerd. I like star wars and spiderman and soup and skateboards.” 

“I love anime and dance,” Evgenia was beaming into the camera, coming alive in her natural element of performing, “I’m all about fun, but that doesn’t mean I’m not motivated. I’m always ready to get down to work or just to get down!” 

“I just need to sit down,” Wakaba sighed, “I feel like I’m always so busy, I just want to take a moment to relax. I want someone to share a bowl of popcorn with while we watch a James Bond movie but who won’t be offended when I need to be by myself” 

“The only reason I’m here is because my best friend is out of town this month, I hate being by myself” Mikhail told the truth, a wide grin of his face as the cameramen gawked at him, “I know that won’t get me a rose or anything, I just want to a part of all the drama for once, it’s kinda fun.” 

“I hate drama,” Gabby said with an enthusiastic wave of her hands, “I hate fake people, I hate people who are two-faced, I’m 100% real all the time and if you don’t like it, you can leave.” 

“Can I leave?” Nathan asked after listening to everyone’s else’s introductions, “can I give the rose back? Is that okay? I miss my dog, he gets sad when I’m away for long periods of time-  _ yeah, that’s it- _ I just want to be there for him, he just totally gets lonely.”

“I’m just a bit lonely,” Mai whispered, “I want to meet people, get out more, see the world and find my place in it. And I guess that starts with being on this season of the Bi-chelor.”

“Hot damn,” Yuzuru said after watching the recordings, his finger hovering over the mute button desperate to quiet the nonsense, “what did I sign up for? 

“Welcome to hell,” Dai laughed at the poor boy in front of him, about to embark on what could either be the best or the worst 2 and a half months of his life. In a few days, the contestants would be moving into the house together, ready to begin the journey together, and he would meet the people he just saw on the screen, “have fun.”

What happens next? 


	2. The First Impressions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Person after person steps out of their limos, each with a smile, but Yuzuru doesn't feel that spark he needs with any of them. That is until someone special gets out of the car and leaves him speechless.

“Are you ready to meet the contestants, Yuzuru?” Dai spoke loudly, his voice echoing through the small area in front of the mansion. Yuzu nodded wearily, nervous and eager, running to run from and toward the limo as it drove up. At the end of this, there would be 10 people in the house behind him. One of them might even be his future spouse. But for now, he just wanted to get through meeting all people. 

The first person to step out of the limo was girl, small in stature but not lacking confidence. Her black dress only amplified her strong features, wide eyes and dark hair looking up at him. “I’m Wakaba,” she introduced herself with a formal handshake, “I’m a soccer player by day and movie fanatic by night. I hope you’ll join me for a flick some time,” she winked as she walked past him, shoulder brushing strategically against his. 

A man stepped out next. Yuzuru noticed the curls before anything else, wild and free on his head, a confused and scared look on his face, “I’m Nathan,” the boy stumbled over his words and Yuzuru couldn’t tell if he was nervous or afraid, “I, uh, I like my dog.” 

“You can just...skip him. He’s a little fresh.” Dai whispered to Yuzu, leaning over to make the comment before the next limo pulled up, “but this one-you’re in for a real treat.” 

Yuzuru had to angel his gaze downward when the door opened, not initially spotting the small girl that walked up. She was impossibly tiny, 4’10” at the most, but happiness was bursting out of her every step, “are you a fruit?,” she asked, her smile cute and captivating, already giggling at her own joke, “because I think you’re a fineapple,” 

Yuzuru couldn’t help but grin at the sheer awfulness of the joke, shaking his head as the girl bounced away. 

A blonde boy got out of the next limo, leaning against the door before walking over to Yuzuru. “I know I look like the villain in your story, but I could be your prince charming,” he said with a cocky grin, giving the man a sturdy handshake. 

The next person out was a girl, her face temporarily covered by a curtain of black hair before she shook her head to reveal a megawatt smile, “I’m Evgenia, my friends call my Zhenya, you can call me tonight.”

Next a young man came bouncing out, a star wars sweater thrown on over a pair of jeans, a smile on his face that made him look ridiculous and endearing, “I’m Boyang, and I think I could be the Boy-ang for you!” he finished with finger guns before walking into the mansion. Yuzuru heard the hollers and whoops as the door closed, already feeling the energy of the environment. 

“I’m Mai,” a shy girl whispered to him, suddenly appearing despite him not noticing her get out of the car, “I like books and I might like you.” 

“I’m Gabby, I’m a youtuber and a gymnast and I’m pretty great at both of them,” she smirked, “I’m confident and real and fierce,” she whipped her sleek ponytail toward him as she walked away, her heels clicking against the stones in the ground. 

“She’s one to watch,” Dai snickered, earning a glare from his bachelor.

“I don’t know if she’s really my type,” 

“Well then hopefully these next two are,”

Dai smiled, putting Yuzuru on edge for a second before he saw the man step out. Now this guy, he thought to himself, was definitely one to watch.

Yuzuru could feel the pull of attraction the moment Javier sauntered out of the car, “ahhh, querido, hello,” he took the younger man’s hand in his, their fingers intertwining for a second before Javier pulled them to his lips, leaving a burning kiss on his skin, “you’re as beautiful as the rose I’m sure I’ll be getting tonight.” 

Yuzuru was speechless as the man left, mouth parted in surprise. He had thought that this show would be a throwaway, a few months with free living, new experiences and maybe a boost to his career as a talk show host. But that all changed when Javier opened the door of the limo, stepping straight into his heart. 

“I’m Shoma,” he heard a voice squeak below him, the presence only there for a second before fleeing toward the mansion. 

“That’s all of them, what do you think?” 

“Holy...” Yuzuru muttered, still able to feel the kiss on his hand, but still watching Shoma looking out at him from the shadows of the house. Yeah, this was going to be a fun few months. 


	3. Inside the Mansion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "The group settled into a comfortable rhythm in those two minutes before Javier entered, laughter and jokes, personalities already meshing easily, phone numbers exchanged, banter had.
> 
> But Javier slammed the door behind him while others had let it fall, nodded a greeting while others talked, stood while they sat. He had an edge to him, like he had the power to win against a god."
> 
> Or what was going on in the mansion while Yuzuru was in the driveway.

Wakaba was the first inside, choosing the comfortable armchair as opposed to the corner couch, preferring to have her own space before the rest joined her. She wasn’t sure what she was in for, she just knew it wouldn’t be boring. 

Nathan was next, making Wakaba thankful that she chose the armchair as he plopped his entire body down on the length of the couch, body down one side of the right angle and one arm over the other, “that was awful,” he groaned, “I just wanna go home.” 

“Already?” she scoffed at him, “Why are you even here?” 

“I wasn’t supposed to be, but ever since I told my friend Adam I might be bi, he’s been encouraging me to meet guys and this was his final setup idea.” 

“Wow, that’s extreme.”   
“That’s Adam.” 

When Satoko came floating into the room, they both froze. She was like an angel coming through the doorway. She introduced herself quickly and Wakaba couldn’t help but feel like this was someone she was supposed to know, feeling the urge to sit down and talk to her. 

“What do you do?” 

“I’m a lifestyle and advice blogger, _it’s going to be fineapples_ ,” 

“I love that blog!” Wakaba exclaimed, “you’re how I organized my soccer schedule vs my university schedule this year!” 

“Oh my gosh-” 

Their brief conversation was interrupted by the opening of a door, the presence of another person in their living room, a smirking boy running full speed onto the couch beside Nathan. 

“Out of town?” Mikhail grinned like a man who knew a secret- mainly because he did. 

“Adam,” Nathan said as though the one word explained everything 

“Yeah, okay,” Mikhail slumped against the back of the couch, “you’re the whole reason I even signed up for this thing, you know I hate being alone.”

“Wait, neither of you are here to find love?” 

“God no-” 

“Hello!” a voice called out, sweet despite the heavy accent. 

“We’re in here!” Wakaba called out to the girl, guiding her toward the room with her voice. 

“I’m Zhenya.”

“Where are you from?” Nathan called out, earning a polite slap in the shoulder from his friend. 

“She’s Russian, you idiot. How have you spent half your life next to me and you still can’t recognize the accent.”

“You’re Russian too?” her eyes lit up at the sight of something familiar, feeling a friendship blossoming immediately. 

“Born in St. Petersburg, I live in Cali now with my boys.”

“I was born in Moscow, I’m with the Bolshoi Ballet,” she liked to pull that fact out to impress, but mostly because even after being there for over a year, she still couldn’t believe it herself. Her rise to the top was fast, but she was determined to make it last. 

Boyang came bouncing in the room next, almost literally, his feet propelling him excitedly into the room. He crashed onto the couch with the others, falling down right next to Nathan and causing the room to whoop in reply, excited encouragement for the newest member of their group. Neither knew what to make of the situation, so they just talked anyway. 

“I’m Boyang,” he said as he reached out his hand, Nathan shaking it with a confused grin. 

“Did you say Boing?” 

“No, but that works too,” he responded, and the competitive nature around them vanished. After all, the boy who bounced was named Boing, the man with the Russian best friend couldn’t pick the difference between a Russian accent and an English one, and they were laughing as if they had known each other for years. 

“Uh-hi?” a small girl snuck around the corner, bangs covering almost half of her face, “I’m Mai.” 

If she noticed Nathan blushing immediately upon seeing her, she didn’t say. Instead, she choose a seat by Satoko, complimenting her outfit and look around the room. Mai was quiet, always observing instead of interacting, but she thought that’s what made her special. And after a few minutes, Nathan thought so too, his eyes trailing her gaze throughout the room until it landed on him. Then he was just thankful that the door opened again, and he was able to look down at his fingers. 

“Oh my god you’re Gabby Daleman!” Zhenya screeched, “I love your youtube videos!” 

“You’re Evgenia Medvedeva! I love your company!” 

The girls quickly embraced, joining by their mutual fangirling, related by sports that couldn’t be more different but with stories almost the same. The group settled into a comfortable rhythm in those two minutes before Javier entered, laughter and jokes, personalities already meshing easily, phone numbers exchanged, banter had. 

But Javier slammed the door behind him while others had let it fall, nodded a greeting while others talked, stood while they sat. He had an edge to him, like he had the power to win against a god. 

Shoma slipped in unnoticed at first, but was immediately pulled onto the couch when Boyang spotted him. Mikhail, Nathan, Boyang and Shoma were lined up like that, somehow a squad in less than a second, when Yuzuru walked in. 

“Welcome girls-and boys-to the bi-chelor, let’s have some fun!


End file.
